Twelve years ago, my sister and brother-in-law eloped. In that time, they have both served in the military, had 3 beautiful children, and are now building a farm. Even after all those years, they still look at each other with loving eyes.
So, I asked my big sister what marriage was like, what she’s learned from it, and how she has overcome obstacles along the way, and this is the sage advice she gave me:
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.”
Marriage is an ocean.
It is a wonderous, beautiful, unpredictable thing. When two people commit themselves to one another through marriage, the journey they embark is never the same as another couple. Similar? Maybe. We can pass through the same waters, but the waves we face are ours alone. The ocean shifts and changes often. So does marriage. Beautiful, calm waters can be followed by treacherous, damaging waves. You can be content, happy, and in love, but make no mistake, everyone disagrees and sometimes you say things you don’t mean. It’s impossible to take words back. The ocean can provide sustenance for our bodies or can be the shadows hiding predators on the hunt. You can work together to build a life but beware of those who wish to see you fail…or worse, those who try to make you fail. It can be the source of tranquility or the catalyst of fear and self-doubt. When you love someone enough to commit your life to them, that love is deep. That love provides stability. It provides comfort and tranquility. It is a source of happiness. That love is also scary. It can be scary in many different ways. It can be scary because you’re giving up a sense of independence and autonomy. It can be scary to think that it can be lost (complacency, death, divorce). It can be scary to give your heart to someone with the chance of it getting broken.
Dwain and I have chosen to hold hands on the shore, merge into clear waters together, and set sail for an unknown destination. On our way to that destination, we’ve faced sharks, we’ve faced storms, we’ve faced fatigue. We have jumped into the deepest waters and come back to the surface, gasping for air. We have been driven apart by waves, but we’ve always found each other among the darkest seas. Facing the changing tides of marriage is a choice we make each day. -AD
